VICTORY NOT A DEFEAT!
I heard the podcast for Friday February 12, 2021 with the Barbers... It touched me so much when Ms Barber was explaining marriage from Genesis. Last June 2020 my wife left me and in November she filed for divorce. It’s a long explanation, but I still love her to death and she says she has no feelings for me anymore. She sold the house and bought herself a new house in another city so there is no chance I can see her. I have not seen her or heard her voice since she left...I miss her so much. I still cry almost every day for her and my family. We were not doing well, but I would never resort to divorce. Should I just lie to myself and say I don’t care for her anymore so I can stop hurting and move on? I already consecrated myself to my Spiritual father St Joseph through the book of father Calloway and I started praying the 20 mysteries of the Rosary every day. Please advice me. The devil won a battle with my marriage.
It sounds to me like your wife is an unconverted soul, she is blinded by the world and is probably a secular humanist that doesn't KNOW Jesus or his Holy Gospel and the teachings of the Church. She will answer to God for her actions (just like all of us will). It looks like this tragedy has drawn you closer to Christ - that's a victory not a defeat.
1. Start adding to your prayer life before you go to bed the www.auxiliumchristianorum.org, they are binding prayers against demons, that is your role as a man to pray these prayers as the head of the family (read the story of Tobias & Sarah ch.3 & 8 in the book of 'Tobit'). This will keep you protected from diabolical assaults in your loneliness.
2. Here is a prescription for an unconverted wife: Jesus promised that: “If you say this prayer (the Divine Mercy), with a contrite heart and with faith, on behalf of some sinner I will give that soul the grace of conversion” - https://www.divinemercy.org/elements-of-divine-mercy/3-o-clock-prayer/10...
3. Also continue praying the rosary for your wife so that your prayers can ‘merit for her the grace of conversion.’ Our Lady says in promise no.11 (of the Fifteen Promises of the Rosary). "You shall obtain all you ask of me by the recitation of the rosary." If you live in a state of grace you are personally protected from the diabolical, your tears, pain and suffering for your wife are meant to purify you and make you a saint. Your prayers become more efficacious as you become holier (cf. James 5:16) and your role is to pray, do penance and suffer for the conversion of your wife (cf. 1 Cor 7:14, 16 “For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband…Wife, how do you know whether you will save your husband? Husband, how do you know whether you will save your wife?). Through our suffering we distribute graces to other people in the body of Christ. This is why, when Our Lady appeared to the children of Fatima she said “many souls go to hell because no one prays for them” https://www.catholiceducation.org/en/religion-and-philosophy/catholic-fa..."Pray much and make sacrifices for sinners, for many souls go to hell because there is no one to make sacrifices for them” - http://www.rosary-center.org/fatimams.htm.
The good caused by the suffering that you offered to God in this life will be revealed to you in heaven. God will show you the people you ended up blessing, saving, converting, healing from illness, delivering from demons as a result of your suffering that you offered to God and He redistributed to their soul.
God has prepared from all eternity this cross that you carry, he gave it to you as a gift. It is not one inch to long, nor one ounce to heavy for you. Lord, give me the grace to bear this cross with heroism all the way to the resurrection.
“The world is a school of crosses” St Gaspar de Bufalo
The definitive lesson of both Jesus and Job is that suffering is not necessarily a sign of punishment. It may be and often is a sign of special favor. Jesus did not promise to deliver us from pain and death. He promised to deliver us through it to eternal life. He who was himself most highly favored of God was a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. If we are suffering innocently too then let us take the trials we are bearing to him who knows what it is like to suffer such pain. He will be able to turn our ashes into something wonderful in his time and in his way. Nothing, not even pain, is wasted in the Kingdom of God. If you are suffering, truly offer that suffering up to God. You many never have an opportunity like this again. God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way. Read this line very slowly and let it sink in...If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.