A foretaste of judgment

September 27, 2018

Once when I was waiting outside for an audience with Pope Pius XII, I was troubled in spirit. I was saying to myself, the good Lord has given me many more opportunities than he's given to other priests: education and opportunities for apostolate, and how little I have done with them. I was disconsolate. Then when I went in and saw Pope Pius XII, I said, 'Your Holiness, I have just discovered how easy judgment is going to be.'  He said, 'Tell me, I would like to know.' I said, 'Well, I was just saying to myself how much I've failed, how little I have loved the Church, really. Then I come in here, and I find the Church personalized. You are the Church, and I am deeply moved at seeing you and how much I love you. I think that's just the way it's going to be when we go before the face of our dear Lord. We will be discontented with ourselves, but when we go there, we will be surprised how much we really have loved him.'  'Yes,' he said, 'that's exactly the way it will be.'