September 8, 2022


So my question comes after reflecting not he gospel today. The reflection says “sp often we see problems around us and expect God to solve them without any effort on our part.  God knows our problems better than we do.  Yet, sometimes he doesn’t act until he sees an act of faith on our part.”  Then the reflection asks the reader “Do I have (such) confidence when I approach Jesus in prayer?  Is my faith strong enough to ask him for something extraordinary? 


 The basic formula for prayer from Scripture and Tradition is that you must ask the Lord (cf. Matt 7:7).


And to you I ask, is it possible that - due to frequent complaining and venting about the same situation a person finds him or herself in often, despite all of the prayers and all of the rosaries that person says/offers, that God may withhold the graces because God may view the complaining as a lack of trust in Him?  I am talking not about a once in a while complaint, but frequent, on the same topic, same situation. In my opinion, I tend to think it is possible.  He/she will voice their complaints/vent, but then say “I guess it is the will of God it be this way and I have to accept it.”  However, doesn’t the fruit of acceptance often lead to interior peace?  I just don't see that interior peace coming through.


Everything were going through, if were children of God (which you clearly are) and living in a state of grace (which you clearly do) God allows all these challenges to purify our hearts, makes us holy and save our soul at the end. 

You should both be praying the together. Yes, you can pray those prayers by yourself but they are more efficacious if you prayed these binding prayers with your husband. Read the story of Tobias & Sarah (ch.3 & 8) in the book of Tobt, this couple prayed together on their wedding night and a demon who was vexing Sarah was lifted never to return to her again. The demons yielded to Tobias authority as the husband, protector and head of the family.

Here is a wife's prescription for her husband. Our Lord Jesus Christ told St Faustina 1) “If you say this prayer (the Divine Mercy), with a contrite heart and with faith, on behalf of some sinner I will give that soul the grace of conversion” - Say it everyday for your wife preferably at 3pm.

Next, pray the rosary everyday for your husband so that your prayers can ‘merit for him the grace of healing and deeper conversion.’ Our Lady says in promise no.11 (of the Fifteen Promises of the Rosary).  "You shall obtain all you ask of me by the recitation of the rosary." 

If you live in a state of grace you are personally protected from the diabolical, your tears, pain and suffering for your husband are meant to purify you and make you a saint. Your prayers become more efficacious as you become holier (cf. James 5:16) and your role is to pray, do penance and suffer for the conversion of your husband (cf. 1 Cor 7:14). At your weekly holy hour make sure you pray for him in front of the blessed Sacrament to merit the grace of healing and deeper conversion for your husband.

*] St. Raphael Prayer for Troubled Marriages

O Glorious St. Raphael, Archangel of healing, intercede for our marriage today. Bring our marriage the same heavenly gifts you brought Tobias and Sarah, the celestial graces of healing, deliverance, and marital unity. Infuse into our hearts the peace and confidence that nothing is impossible with God concerning the renewal of our marriage. Rekindle in our marriage new forgiveness, new humility, new grace, new peace, new purity, new trust, and new love.

O St. Raphael, one of the seven who stand before the throne of God, intercede to the Merciful Father for the miracle of peace and reconciliation in our marriage, through the infinite merits of Our Lord, Jesus Christ, and the consoling power of the Holy Spirit.

O blessed Raphael, guide us on the pathway of marital peace and unity. Most loving Archangel of healing, I believe in you, I trust in you, and I thank you. Amen. St. Raphael Prayer for Troubled Marriages - Catholic For Life

*] Pray for yourself – here is a Wife’s Prayer: O Merciful Lord God, who in the beginning took Eve out of the side of Adam and gave her to him as a helpmate: give me the grace to live worthy of the honorable estate of matrimony to which Thou has called me, that I may love my husband with a pure and chaste love, acknowledging him as my head, and truly reverencing and obeying him in all good things; that thereby I may live with him in all Christian quietness. Keep me from all worldliness and vanity. Help me, O Lord, that I may, under him, prudently and discreetly guide and govern our household. Let no fault of mine aggravate any sins by which he may be especially tempted; enable me to soothe him in perplexity, to cheer him in difficulty, to refresh him in weariness, and to advise him in doubt. Give me understanding so to fulfill my part in the education of our children, that they may partake of joy in this world and of glory in the next. Grant that our perfect union here may be the beginning of the still more perfect and blissful union hereafter in Thy kingdom; and this I pray through Jesus Christ our Lord – Amen.

Here is a great example: Servant of God Elizabeth Leseur (1866-1914) was a good wife with a wealthy husband, she personally renounced wealth and led a holy live. She has been called the Thérèse of Lisieux for married women. She did, in fact, discover her own little way of sanctification through pure and sacrificial love, humility, meekness, redemptive suffering, a vibrant prayer life and, critically, shutting the heck up. In 1889 she married Felix Leseur, a medical doctor from a similarly affluent background, but no longer Catholic (a point she discovered only shortly before their wedding). He not only refused to practice Catholicism, he was outwardly and vehemently hostile toward the faith. Even the atheists were attracted to her grace and holiness), she simultaneously and unassumingly lived a hidden life as a contemplative and mystic. Elisabeth’s death in 1914, from breast cancer that had metastasized, was prolonged and painful, but Felix testified that she bore it with calm and sweetness. She had asked her sister to destroy her spiritual “Diary” after her death, but instead, her sister gave it to Felix, who published it a few years later. He was so moved by the profound faith and love of his wife, that within a year, he returned to Confession and the faith. Several years later, he entered the Order of Preachers. Ordained nine years after her death, Fr. Leseur spent much of his time until his own death in 1950 speaking about her spirituality and promoting her cause for sainthood -

St Catherine of Genoa (married laywoman 1510). She was born to a prominent Genoese family, Catherine was married  at fifteen to Guiliano Adorno, he was a man with a gambling problem. For ten years, she sought to distract herself from her troubled marriage through worldly occupations. A great sadness grew in her and she was tempted to despair. One day she went to confess her sins, and as she knelt before the priest, she received a great grace, she writes “a wound in my hear of the immense love of God.” She left at once, and shut herself up at home: “no longer the world, no longer sin,” she professed. From this time on she began to live a life of profound prayer and penance – for many years God was her sole guide. Her attachment to Christ opened her heart to charity, and she began to work at the hospital of Pammatone when she eventually became director. Catherine has a conversion of heart, her husband Guiliano became a Franciscan tertiary. He and Catherine gave themselves to the care of the poor. She shared her mystical insights in the Treatise on Purgatory & Dialogue between the body & soul. During the last fifteen years of her life, Catherine suffered from various serious health problems. She died from an illness that doctors could not explain (Magnificat; March 2022, vol.23, no.13, Saints Who Overcame Temptation, p.134).

Bishop Donald J. Hying: “Know that the mystery of suffering in our lives is the sacred ladder by which we will ascend to the beauty of the Kingdom of heaven” [].

“Through our suffering we distribute graces to other people in the body of Christ. This is why, when Our Lady appeared to the children of Fatima she said "Pray, pray a great deal, and make sacrifices for sinners, for many souls go to hell, because they have no one to pray and make sacrifices for them" [The Blessed Virgin Mary at Fatima: August 19, 1917] Our Lady of Fatima's PLEA FOR SACRIFICE (

A wife with an unconverted husband should have a monastic prayer life, receive the sacraments as often as possible and offer Masses for his conversion. The holier you are the more powerful your intercessory prayers will be (cf. James 5:16).    

Here is the role of a woman from Scripture, read:

1 Peter 3:1-7 (RSV) “[1] Likewise you wives, be submissive to your husbands, so that some, though they do not obey the word, may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,

[2] when they see your reverent and chaste behavior.
[3] Let not yours be the outward adorning with braiding of hair, decoration of gold, and wearing of fine clothing,
[4] but let it be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable jewel of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.
[5] So once the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves and were submissive to their husbands,
[6] as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are now her children if you do right and let nothing terrify you.
[7] Likewise you husbands, live considerately with your wives, bestowing honor on the woman as the weaker sex, since you are joint heirs of the grace of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered.

Proverbs 31:10-31 (RSV) “[10] A good wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
[11] The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
[12] She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
[13] She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
[14] She is like the ships of the merchant,
she brings her food from afar.
[15] She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and tasks for her maidens.
[16] She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
[17] She girds her loins with strength and makes her arms strong.
[18] She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
[19] She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
[20] She opens her hand to the poor,
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
[21] She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
[22] She makes herself coverings;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
[23] Her husband is known in the gates,
when he sits among the elders of the land.
[24] She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers girdles to the merchant.
[25] Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
[26] She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
[27] She looks well to the ways of her household,
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
[28] Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
[29] "Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all."
[30] Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
[31] Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.

Sirach 26:1-3, 13-16 (RSV) “[1] Happy is the husband of a good wife; the number of his days will be doubled. [2] A loyal wife rejoices her husband, and he will complete his years in peace. [3] A good wife is a great blessing; she will be granted among the blessings of the man who fears the Lord….[13] A wife's charm delights her husband, and her skill puts fat on his bones. [14] A silent wife is a gift of the Lord, and there is nothing so precious as a disciplined soul. [15] A modest wife adds charm to charm, and no balance can weigh the value of a chaste soul. [16] Like the sun rising in the heights of the Lord, so is the beauty of a good wife in her well-ordered home.

Mathew 17:20 “But this kind is not cast out but by prayer and fasting." Satan's tactic is to divide and conquer your marriage & family!  Our Catholic Christian tactic is to "Unite our marriage & family through prayer!